Clarissa is officially 10!

Can you believe it, Clarissa is 10 years old! I happened to wake up to let the dogs out to go potty, and looked at the clock...it was 1:10 am, March 12th- the exact time that my little muffin was born. I vividly remember her kicking in my tummy- reminding me that she was there...I remember the little cry that she made right when she was born...I remember her little hands that held mine and the little red lips, puckered so cute on her sweet face. She lay there so sweet!...Her first word was mama...and she started walking at 9 months old. She has been going every since! She is now in the double digits, 10, the first of many! She is full of spirit and attitude. She is a kid in so many ways, yet still she is beyond her years, too. How did I get so lucky? To have an amazing little girl and she is my little muffin! For her birthday, we went over to a friends house, the Kellers, and she rode Smokey...then we had presents. We got her Taylor Swift tickets (that is in May). She was shocked. On her actual birthday, we took her to Rascal Flatts and she rode Smokey again at the Kellers. On Sunday, we are going to the Gilbert Rodeo and then meeting family at Peter Piper Pizza. She had a week long birthday- how fun, right! I know that she had a lot of fun.

Another YEAR older-UGH

I had a great birthday this year! I celebrated with my friends at work...cake and lunch- Thank you JoJo! That was just Friday! Saturday- I spent the day with mom and dad, just hanging out. I did some homework and then had dinner with both of my grandmothers, Aunt Ruth, mom and dad, and then Clarissa. Adam had to work, but got there just in time for yummy Apple Pie. I did not want cake. My dad made a special dinner with grilled shrimp, salmon, and chicken... and then three different salads. I am spoiled! That night, Adam took me to see Taken, with Liam Neeson...It was really good movie! Sunday, Adam took me out to breakfast with a few of our friends, yum yum! Then I gave myself a gift!!! I whacked my hair off! I donated it to Locks of Love. I did this for my family that I have lost. My mother in law, my two grandfathers and my cousin. Adam's Nana had breat cancer, but it was taken care of and caught on time. You never know, one day, this can be a wig for someone that I know and love. You never know. I am already starting over - I would like to grow it out more then what I had it in the pictures. After that, my mom took me SHOPPING! I had a hay-day. Clarissa took me and Adam to sonic for a soda or ice-cream! I had a perfect birthday this year!

-OMG-

I have never been so scared and terrified in my life; until Clarissa told me she had taken a ride with a complete stranger. (Clarissa has been through a lot of crazy and scary things, but this takes the cake) We only live a few houses away from the school... so, walking to school is not a big deal. However, that day she was late; this was about two weeks ago. Instead of coming home and getting Adam to drive her to the front of the school, this lady that was also late offered her a ride with her daughter. I am sure that, that parent thought that it was harmless gesture and that she was being a good samaritan. Well, I can see that she was concerned, but she should have asked her if she was going home to get a ride or something, instead of taking my daughter...ya know!

When Clarissa told me this, I just balled up and chocked out every word, enough to scare her. She hugged me, and kept saying sorry and that she would never do it again. My thought process was that I kissed her for the last time that morning before I left for work... and that she could have been lost forever, like the movies or the shows. That is a horrible feeling!

As a family, we love to watch CSI, Criminal Minds and all that stuff. I also talk to Clarissa about the importance of watching your surroundings and to always be aware, because you never know. So, of all people in the neighborhood, I never thought that she would ever consider in a million years that she would ever get in the car with a stranger. My heart shuddered...to know that she did not think anything about it.

Well, after the long conversation, she understood what I was saying, called her instructor to remind the class about stranger danger... and to keep Clarissa's name out of it... since she was a little embarrassed. They happened to be talking about that same subject that next week, so it tied in to the subject.

So, words to my parents out there, NEVER let your guard down... ALWAYS talk to the kids about stranger danger... Don't be afraid to talk to them...They need to hear it - so that they are more cautioned about situations!

As for me, I am ok- NOW... but that is a day that I will never forget.

I am so FREAKING hooked!

OK- Adam and I had "date night" and it was his turn to pick out the movie- Boring huh? Well, that is as much excitement that we get these days. Anyway, he wanted to see Twilight. I thought, boring, so I grabbed my movie blanket and was ready to fall asleep.

(excited voice) OK- I am really bad- I was hooked on the movie from the very beginning.... I am a huge nerd! (which y'all know) Anyway- I have now seen the movie 3 times and would like to see it more... and I have now finished book one- in record time for me. Anyone that knows me, knows that I hate reading and I will do what I can to not read. In fact, I cannot recall a time that I picked up a book and read it from cover to cover... So, with my busy and crazy schedule and the holidays/school, I read the book in 2.5 weeks... good for me- record time! The book added the info that I was not sure about in the movie... OMG- the passion that these two have, I am so jealous!

So, I was talking to a cube mate/employee/co-worker, and she is also into these books and so on... she stated that she feels like she is cheating on her spouse, and I totally agree, thru reading these books! I can't wait to get home, get my homework done and then hop into my chair and read! I am only in book two and am just so involved... laughing, almost crying and everything. I probably would have cried if someone at work did not interrupt me while I was in my read mode. I bought the music soundtrack and I L.O.V.E. it...

I know, I am a nerd for romance and passion. What can I say?

Another year-come and gone...

Well, another year is about to end. So much has happened, it is hard to imagine that this year is now coming to an end. I have seen good things, friends have moved away, I started a change for my future, and started raising a puppy from scratch, cried and laughed and then the worst, experienced deaths...The bottom line is that I have my family and friends by my side. Happy Holidays to all my friends and family. I could not have done it with out you. You are my strength and my shoulder to cry on. I have been able to share my ups and downs, and you seem to still accept me for me and all my imperfections. Thanks. Hugs and kisses to all. Happy New Year...

Kids will be kids. Archer and Andrew were playing in the mall fountain after watching the Hulk movie. They had so much fun! I think that they had more fun playing in the water then watching the movie- man it was really hot that day too! They are getting so big, it seems like yesterday that I was changing diapers and helping them walk. Now, there is Akira, she is about to be two years old...! Clarissa is 9 going on 21...man on man, I feel very old... Glad that I do not look it! LOL

Well, August 29....enough said. I have not posted anything because I feel numb- to the world. The sad thing is, that I really feel horrible that I was not the person that I should have been. What I mean, is that -I am 33 years old... Tiffanie is the youngest cousin on my mom's side of the family. She was 25 when she passed. I should have done my part to get to know her more. I see that side of the family at a birthday for the kids and or Christmas. Other then that, I don't make any attempt to see them. I know that it goes both ways. Somehow, any or all of us, should have made an attempt to be more close. But we don't. I made an attempt to reach out to my family, and at this time, there has not been any response. I am trying!

So, I go to this beautiful funeral, I sit with my family, I cry because the situation is very sad, and as I listen to the things that people say about Tiffanie, they are just simply amazing. I have been to my share of funerals, and by far, this the biggest turn out that I have ever seen. I sit there like a schmuck! I did not get up to say anything because I had nothing to say. I know that she loved horses, and that she was thick minded... I know that she did things the way that she wanted because that is what she wanted. I am ashamed that I did not know her and did not know the wonderful things about Tiffanie. The fact that these other people that were not biological family knew so much and I did not... again, I am ashamed. I should have been there talking in front of the church, telling these people how wonderful she was.

In the last few weeks, I have felt this overwhelming sadness. The words that she stated; that she feared that her kids would forget her. I also feel the sadness of my grandfather...people say that taking ones own life is a selfish way to go, but in this case, I feel that he took his life and was heroic. The fact that he did not want the family to suffer or wait on him hand and foot, takes a lot of consideration. After the autopsy, we found out that his heart had a large percentage of blockage, on top of the cancer.... he was doomed no matter what, it was just a time bomb.

Cancer!!! Why? In one year, there has been 3 deaths of Cancer in my family. Not to mention that Adam's mother passed away with Cancer. His grandmother just was diagnosed with breast cancer...they caught it on time.

I am very sad that this had to happen. Life is -it is what it is.