LIFE-only happens once

Saturday, I went to see my cousin Tiffanie. She is 25 years old, single mom of two spunky boys; she is dying. She was diagnosed a month ago with a rare cancer- Small Cell Ovarian Cancer. 2% of the US population is diagnosed with this. Because it is so rare, by the time that anyone is able to test and try to help, the patient passes. This cancer is so aggressive and painful. Well, I was able to see a tribute to her at her church...I have been waiting and waiting to see her, excited to hug her and tell her that I love her. I did not recognize her at all. Her face had no color or facial expressions; her eyes were glazed over and she was not able to look straight at me. Her tumor made her look 6 months pregnant and her legs and feet were really swollen. In only 2 weeks, she had drastically changed for the worse. I balled my eyes out the minute that I realized that it was her.
She stated that one fear that she had, was that her boys will not remember her, they are 5 and 3. I am sad to know that she will not be here to raise her boys, and celebrate Christmas with the family...and so on. She will not be there for their first girlfriend, the graduations or weddings. It is so scary how life is so precious and fragile. You only get one shot at life, we need to take it and live it. Enjoy family, friends, and forgive the hurt. Stop resenting others and just be glad that they want to be there for you and you for them.
I can never imagine what it would be like to know that I had only one month to live. I did promise Clarissa that when she graduated, that I would take her to Hawaii, and if anything were to happen like it did for for Tiffanie, you would find me on the beaches of Hawaii...watching Clarissa enjoy the surf.

School AGAIN!

Well I am back in class. I am at my half way point of the degree. I seem to be at ease with all of this. Back in High School, I did well, but I never applied myself to be better. I got by with what ever I got. I needed a C average to play sports and be in all the after school clubs. I like that we are able to do this at our own pace and no one is hovering over me. Well, I take that back- Clarissa. But that is a little different. Anyway, I passed the last two with an A+ and B+. I really am doing this. What I am doing with it after, I have no clue. LOL! The point is, I am doing it! I never thought that I would ever attempt to go back to college and finish. I did not even count my credits from MCC. I don't even remember the classes and or the grades anyway.

I feel that I am setting a good example for Clarissa, by showing her my study habits. I wish that she was focused and organized like I am. She tries, but it is not successful. I try to help, but she likes things her way! I give her mad props that she is very independent and strong willed.

The only classes that I am not looking forward to is the Math....YUCK! I suck at Math ...I purposely put my Math at the end of my degree and am taking one class (Math) at a time. That way I have nothing distracting me besides life in general. Well, I suppose I should finish my homework instead of playing... :-)

Puppy Love

Well, I broke down. I got a new puppy! She is very cute and fun! She is the same breed as Spike, although she may be a combination of a short hair and long hair and she seems longer then Spike already. So, just like a new baby, I am getting up every few hours, taking her potty, playing with her, and making sure that she in not chewing on something that she shouldn't. She is a little handful. I personally don't recall Spike being this way...feisty and chewing on anything that is by his mouth. In the end, she is cute and loves to cuddle. The other two dogs, are getting used to her...it is a work in progress. They are teaching her the ropes, growling when she is not behaving, watching over her and being patient. I am very proud of Spike though; he is getting the raw end of the deal...the worst! He is being a good big brother...every now and again, he will teach her a lesson or two about what is his and what is not.

I feel like I have a baby all over again...hence why I am writing this at 5:52 on a Saturday morning...instead of sleeping in. I actually have been up since 5...and was just up at 3 am...so...needless to say, I am pooped!

School

This was Clarissa's first week of school. She used to go to a school in Tempe. We have lived in Queen Creek for almost 5 years, and she has yet to go to the school 3 houses away from us. So, Adam and I finally took the plunge and sent her to the school 3 houses away. Her first day, I was sad! I took the day off of work, just like I always do. I walk her to school and pick her up on the first day. I will continue to do that, until she makes me stop. I watched her walk to her class; I had a tear start to trickle down, but stopped. I realized that she is getting to be a big girl. I spent the day with Adam, we worked out, got the car washed and did a few errands. After I got home, I went to pick up Clarissa and she ran, full speed at me and was smiling! She hugged me so tight and said that she had so much fun! I am glad that we changed schools. That night we sat together and talked about her day and made sure that she was ready for the next day. It seemed like yesterday, she was just born. So small and fragile...now she is independent, confident and strong.