I am slacking!

OK- I am slacking! I have not posted anything in a really really long time! I am staling and not doing my homework... So, I am posting a quick message to let everyone know that I am still alive. I am watching Baby Mama...it is a cute movie.

So- I am getting old!

5th GRADE! YIKES! My little muffin girl is getting so big! Although she has always been beyond her years, she still amazes me in how she wants us to be there. So, I took some pics, embarrassed her a little; I will post them later, and stood in the blazing heat for 45 minutes before the teacher whistled... we walked her to class and then kissed her good-bye. I always take the first day of school off. I think that it is important for her to know that I am 100% with her...I also think that I cannot let go of her- but that is neither here or there.... (disclaimer- she asked me to make sure that I took the day off-happy happy joy joy! However, we dropped her off and let her know that I would be picking her up later today- wished her luck and walked *tear* away. Adam and I just walked to the car...I had my head down... UGH- she is getting too big too fast, is there not something that will slow this down? Why are the years that I grew up- they were slow and the years that I want to cherish forever- go so fast? What HECK is up with that?

I am not sure how much more longer she will let me take her to school...that scares me! I saw some of the kids in the neighborhood there... and the parents were not there... OMG- am I too protective? I only have one kid, is that not that allowed... I only have one, so that should be the rule, that I can be overly protective. She is going to be riding her bike up to the school this year. So, we will be routing her path tonight- UGH- that scares me-

There are too many CRAZY people out there... I -ewh- I just wish they would leave our precious kids alone!

What a busy little bee I am!

The last two weeks have been a little hectic! Just when I thought that I was ready and caught up with all my school work, I fell behind- leaving me stressed and with horrible headaches/backaches. Last week there were storms that cut the power for most of the evening; that was one day. The car broke down while I was paying back the kids for helping me with my yard...Bahama Bucks!!! YUM!!!- that was day two. The car broke down, again and although I left early from work, to do my homework and relax (headache) I spent about 4-6 hours messing with the car; that was day three. Somehow the cable and internet was turned off; that was day four. So, I think that after four days of no work on my finals, would stress anyone-right? Well, I was. My parents picked up muffin, which they always do, and I worked on them Friday, Sat and all day Sunday. My brain was fried! So far, in my management class, I got a 99.9% in the class. I am still waiting on the behavioral science class. I liked that class better then some of my psychology classes... but was not really "into the block" at all. I am glad that they are over, time to get energized about the next block... So, Friday after work - had to pick up the rental car...Hello Colbalt. It was a cute car.

So that was last week...

Now this week so far... Monday was chill! finally! Tuesday was meet and greet the teachers for school at the middle school for 5th and 6th graders...Oh how I miss the olden days... K-6th grade and then 7th and 8th grade... then high school-9-12th grade... They just have to mess with us parents and confuse us- like we need more confusing. So after work, I rushed home...got muffin and went to the middle school... met the teacher...Meh- and then rushed to drop off the rental at Enterprise, they dropped us off at the dealership. The warranty place spent almost $2000 fixing the issues that the Lancer had. (all covered)-Hello Lancer- Then after all that, I rushed over to see the chiropractor...My back felt pinched...OH no! Not again! Then rushed home and made dinner...and got muffin ready for school. All of us went to bed late! Not intentional of course!

So, today- dropped off muffin *tear* and off to school she goes! Now I have a long list of things to do today- even though I am off of work! So, never a dull one- ya know...

July 4th, 2009

So, I was hoping to see fireworks this year... from the house. But all that I saw was the sky light up, like a camera was flashing when the picture was being taken. Clarissa and Adam were swimming and that was it. I watched the TV - they had a special... the Boston Pops and they had fire works off the Charles River in Boston. So, now I would like to go... I am not sure how or when we can go...but I would like to go... the special was absolutely beautiful. I am jealous. So, this is the first year in a long time that I was not able to see them... even if it was a little spec in the sky.

Owning a house...

There are so many advantages of paying out the rear for a house. However, it is also a huge head-ache. So, we still need to finish the pool- it is able to be swam in, but we still need to get the salt part of it put together...We need to get the back yard taken care of...right now it is a mess and full of weeds. We need to take out the carpet in the house and either stain the concrete or tile it. I need to paint the walls and finish Clarissa's room. We need to finish the laundry room and put up the fan in the spare room. All of it cost money, which is something that we do not have at this time. So, how can we win the money from the lottery...we play every week... and nothing... OH yeah- my car is just sitting there... collecting dust. It needs fixing too! UGH- so much frustration! I wish that we lived in a rental house or an apartment. So that I do not have to worry about the mess...and it would be about 1000$ cheaper- or more... So, I wish that we were RICH!

School Update

I am in week 7 of my 8th block. I am so very excited... about finishing up the associates. I am really nervous about the last block-MATH! I suck, suck, and SUCK at math... Right after I am done, I will take a quick little break and then move on to the BA program. Then that will be another 21 months or so.

Heber

I have not been up to the cabin in a lot of years. I feel bad, because I love it up there... and there are so many memories that I have of that place. Mostly Pop Pop! My parent, Clarissa and I went up there for the weekend. Clarissa was so excited to go horse back riding that she woke up at 4 am...then pooped out. My dad had Clarissa and I horse back riding on the rim. Well, it has been years since I have been on a horse... I paid for it too! I was so sore... After a 3 hours ride, we went back to the cabin, I was beat. After we ate dinner we went on the sand rail. Got ice cream and I passed out...then we locked up and left. Back to the valley and the hot weather.

Old Friends

I played hooky from work and went to lake. I never do that... It is usually work... work... work. The weather was nice, the water was nice, and we had so much fun! I remember going to the lake when I was growing up. As a family, we went camping, water skying, and experienced all sorts of stuff. Things that most of my childhood friends never got to experience. So, our friends, Duane and Hai invited us to have some fun! We have actually known them since before Adam and I got married. We left in the middle of the day, it only took about an hour to get there. We got out on the water and made lunch for the kids and us adults. I went all out... peppered deli turkey, all the fixings and snacks. I even got watermelon and grapes. Then we got out the huge tube and got the kids on it. They had tons of fun. Then it was time for Adam, Clarissa and I to go on it. Duane thought that it would be a good idea to try to get Adam off the tube. But instead, I fell off. I was laughing so hard, but Clarissa was really upset! She really thought that when I fell off that I was either hurt or lost. Well the next few days, I was really sore and felt a little on the crisp side. All of us got really tan, but no sun burn! The kids, Tanner, Conner and Clarissa had a blast!

Horse'n Around

Clarissa took horse lessons starting at 3 years old or so. She took to it real natural and never was afraid! After we had the two years of bad luck, and the gal (Nicole) got married and had her own family, we have just not found anyone to do lessons for her. Well, my mom found someone (Melissa). She had her first lesson on May 1, 2009. Melissa was really impressed that she knew as much as she did...She is supposed to have her second lesson this Saturday...as long as she is doing better in school! She was really nervous and timid at first but once she was able to ride Buzz with Melissa's daughter Marinne, she was calmed down. She was so excited and talked about it all the way home. I am proud of her and her accomplishments.

It's getting hot in here- so....

Well, the air is on in the house...the pool is ready for swimming...

I will miss the cool weather! BUT, I like the hot weather too! We got our pool done at the end of last summer and we have been just itching to get in and have a full summer of swimming! I got in for the first time today, and man oh man, it felt great! Clarissa has already, you know kids, they will shiver before they will admit that it is too cold to get out. She swam last weekend; I thought that the water was a little too chilly, but not strong willed Clarissa. Now we just have to figure out what to do with the back yard. It is a mess!

Bite the Bullet

Last week Adam bought me a gun...everyone that knows me---what? Yeah-I know! Well, I figured that I should know about them, even though I am not crazy about them, since they are in the house. I told Adam that everyone at work was talking about going to caswells (shooting range) ...to practice. Well, he bought me a gun so that I can learn on my own gun, one that I am using to defend my family with and familiar with. Makes sense-right? Well, we have not gone yet, but still plans are there...
As soon as I got it, I called Stacey (boss and friend) and went over there to show it off... she was pretty excited for me...which made me a little excited too!

Well, Amber (sis in law) signed me up for this woman's outdoor event at Bass Pro Shop. I really did not know what was in store for us, but I thought, what the heck! I enjoy outdoor stuff- I just never get to do it- with my schedule... ya know! Well, I learned how to cook in a dutch oven- we made our desert for the woman's group... we learned the proper way to fly fish... and the funnest of the four events ...........I shot a 9 mil...I shot a gun for the first time- EVER! I did well! Out of 20 rounds, I got 17 on the paper- not sure where the other 3 went! LOL...well, we then went to shoot a compound bow...I made the bulls-eye...with a little practice.

So, I can do it all! I am a girly girl (getting my toes done up) and I can camp, (maybe) hunt and fish...played sports and loves to shop.

When I was younger, my family and I went camping, water ski'g and traveled a little...I think that because of that, I was able to experience a lot...and make it easy for me to adjust to who ever and what ever that is in store for me. The fact that I am learning about this stuff makes me understand my wonderful husband and his play time events. I almost want to get my own compound bow. I think that there is more fun then the gun. However- the bow is something that will have to be later...they are not cheap.

I thank Amber for signing me up! That was the best day in a long time that I had that much fun! I was sooooo tired that I passed out Sat night! I was pretty exhausted Sunday too! The people said that they are doing it again soon at Cabelas. So, I hope to do it again! The other thing that I enjoyed, was being able to spend it with you Amber! HUGS...jes

HURT and PAIN and GRIEF-ugh!

There are many things that I can endure! I have been up and down the block many times! Drug through the dirt and stepped on many times! Everyone that knows me, knows everything about me... and has probably seen me through the worst! However, there are only a few things that I cannot stand for. The first is being called a liar. The second is to be accused of an act that I did not do. In the past few weeks, I have been an emotional basket case. I have been on the planet Pluto. Jessica's personal lala land!


Clarissa- well, I am almost over it! She is 10, growing like a weed...she is becoming a lady, a woman and I am gaining gray hairs and extra baggage under my arms. I remember my mom telling me that I should just wait for my children to get older and then I would know how she felt at every one of my birthdays... Well, mom, I do! Sad to see them get older and not need you as much... and then happy to see them become something and make something of themselves. Clarissa is a handful, but she is exciting and sassy all at the same time. She brings me to my knees and makes me cry...or smile. She is goofy and smart...then she is thickheaded and strong willed... I cannot ask for a better child!

Cody was put down last Friday. This was the last of the dogs that I grew up with. My parents took is so hard that they were not able to be in the same room with him as we lay him down. I held him as he took his last breath. I took the rest of the day off of work and although I was with the family... I just kept to myself. He had cancer and it was only going to get worse. RIP Cody boy!


Well, the last thing...With out going into details, I feel that I lost a friend. Things were thought and thought to be said, and I was never given the benefit of the doubt. I never gave any reason that there was not a truth to this whole thing! Therefore, I was accused of lying and talking about someone behind their back. I am innocent, and there is no way to prove it. Even if there was a way to prove that I did not do the act... there would always be the doubt in their mind. Then resentment would be there and so on... I balled my eyes out... several times... and tried to prove my innocents. I give up. Although Adam states that I did not lose a friend and they did... I still feel that I lost too. I personally do not get it! But, what can I do? I do not think that I have ever been in this situation! Not having any control over something like this... losing a friend and not being able to have my say. I do not think that I have lost any friends like that! People that I have known since the 4th grade... you know who you are!

IDK anymore! I just do not get it! Well, I just know, that I will not back down...I will still be me. Just because they are not willing to put forth any effort, does not mean that I cannot. I will remain me, and be me... and still have to move forward with my life. I will not or cannot let this affect me any longer. It is not fair to me or to my other friends. I think of myself as a happy person...I cannot let this get me down! Well, that is what I am telling myself.

Clarissa is officially 10!

Can you believe it, Clarissa is 10 years old! I happened to wake up to let the dogs out to go potty, and looked at the clock...it was 1:10 am, March 12th- the exact time that my little muffin was born. I vividly remember her kicking in my tummy- reminding me that she was there...I remember the little cry that she made right when she was born...I remember her little hands that held mine and the little red lips, puckered so cute on her sweet face. She lay there so sweet!...Her first word was mama...and she started walking at 9 months old. She has been going every since! She is now in the double digits, 10, the first of many! She is full of spirit and attitude. She is a kid in so many ways, yet still she is beyond her years, too. How did I get so lucky? To have an amazing little girl and she is my little muffin! For her birthday, we went over to a friends house, the Kellers, and she rode Smokey...then we had presents. We got her Taylor Swift tickets (that is in May). She was shocked. On her actual birthday, we took her to Rascal Flatts and she rode Smokey again at the Kellers. On Sunday, we are going to the Gilbert Rodeo and then meeting family at Peter Piper Pizza. She had a week long birthday- how fun, right! I know that she had a lot of fun.

Another YEAR older-UGH

I had a great birthday this year! I celebrated with my friends at work...cake and lunch- Thank you JoJo! That was just Friday! Saturday- I spent the day with mom and dad, just hanging out. I did some homework and then had dinner with both of my grandmothers, Aunt Ruth, mom and dad, and then Clarissa. Adam had to work, but got there just in time for yummy Apple Pie. I did not want cake. My dad made a special dinner with grilled shrimp, salmon, and chicken... and then three different salads. I am spoiled! That night, Adam took me to see Taken, with Liam Neeson...It was really good movie! Sunday, Adam took me out to breakfast with a few of our friends, yum yum! Then I gave myself a gift!!! I whacked my hair off! I donated it to Locks of Love. I did this for my family that I have lost. My mother in law, my two grandfathers and my cousin. Adam's Nana had breat cancer, but it was taken care of and caught on time. You never know, one day, this can be a wig for someone that I know and love. You never know. I am already starting over - I would like to grow it out more then what I had it in the pictures. After that, my mom took me SHOPPING! I had a hay-day. Clarissa took me and Adam to sonic for a soda or ice-cream! I had a perfect birthday this year!

-OMG-

I have never been so scared and terrified in my life; until Clarissa told me she had taken a ride with a complete stranger. (Clarissa has been through a lot of crazy and scary things, but this takes the cake) We only live a few houses away from the school... so, walking to school is not a big deal. However, that day she was late; this was about two weeks ago. Instead of coming home and getting Adam to drive her to the front of the school, this lady that was also late offered her a ride with her daughter. I am sure that, that parent thought that it was harmless gesture and that she was being a good samaritan. Well, I can see that she was concerned, but she should have asked her if she was going home to get a ride or something, instead of taking my daughter...ya know!

When Clarissa told me this, I just balled up and chocked out every word, enough to scare her. She hugged me, and kept saying sorry and that she would never do it again. My thought process was that I kissed her for the last time that morning before I left for work... and that she could have been lost forever, like the movies or the shows. That is a horrible feeling!

As a family, we love to watch CSI, Criminal Minds and all that stuff. I also talk to Clarissa about the importance of watching your surroundings and to always be aware, because you never know. So, of all people in the neighborhood, I never thought that she would ever consider in a million years that she would ever get in the car with a stranger. My heart shuddered...to know that she did not think anything about it.

Well, after the long conversation, she understood what I was saying, called her instructor to remind the class about stranger danger... and to keep Clarissa's name out of it... since she was a little embarrassed. They happened to be talking about that same subject that next week, so it tied in to the subject.

So, words to my parents out there, NEVER let your guard down... ALWAYS talk to the kids about stranger danger... Don't be afraid to talk to them...They need to hear it - so that they are more cautioned about situations!

As for me, I am ok- NOW... but that is a day that I will never forget.

I am so FREAKING hooked!

OK- Adam and I had "date night" and it was his turn to pick out the movie- Boring huh? Well, that is as much excitement that we get these days. Anyway, he wanted to see Twilight. I thought, boring, so I grabbed my movie blanket and was ready to fall asleep.

(excited voice) OK- I am really bad- I was hooked on the movie from the very beginning.... I am a huge nerd! (which y'all know) Anyway- I have now seen the movie 3 times and would like to see it more... and I have now finished book one- in record time for me. Anyone that knows me, knows that I hate reading and I will do what I can to not read. In fact, I cannot recall a time that I picked up a book and read it from cover to cover... So, with my busy and crazy schedule and the holidays/school, I read the book in 2.5 weeks... good for me- record time! The book added the info that I was not sure about in the movie... OMG- the passion that these two have, I am so jealous!

So, I was talking to a cube mate/employee/co-worker, and she is also into these books and so on... she stated that she feels like she is cheating on her spouse, and I totally agree, thru reading these books! I can't wait to get home, get my homework done and then hop into my chair and read! I am only in book two and am just so involved... laughing, almost crying and everything. I probably would have cried if someone at work did not interrupt me while I was in my read mode. I bought the music soundtrack and I L.O.V.E. it...

I know, I am a nerd for romance and passion. What can I say?