Bite the Bullet

Last week Adam bought me a gun...everyone that knows me---what? Yeah-I know! Well, I figured that I should know about them, even though I am not crazy about them, since they are in the house. I told Adam that everyone at work was talking about going to caswells (shooting range) ...to practice. Well, he bought me a gun so that I can learn on my own gun, one that I am using to defend my family with and familiar with. Makes sense-right? Well, we have not gone yet, but still plans are there...
As soon as I got it, I called Stacey (boss and friend) and went over there to show it off... she was pretty excited for me...which made me a little excited too!

Well, Amber (sis in law) signed me up for this woman's outdoor event at Bass Pro Shop. I really did not know what was in store for us, but I thought, what the heck! I enjoy outdoor stuff- I just never get to do it- with my schedule... ya know! Well, I learned how to cook in a dutch oven- we made our desert for the woman's group... we learned the proper way to fly fish... and the funnest of the four events ...........I shot a 9 mil...I shot a gun for the first time- EVER! I did well! Out of 20 rounds, I got 17 on the paper- not sure where the other 3 went! LOL...well, we then went to shoot a compound bow...I made the bulls-eye...with a little practice.

So, I can do it all! I am a girly girl (getting my toes done up) and I can camp, (maybe) hunt and fish...played sports and loves to shop.

When I was younger, my family and I went camping, water ski'g and traveled a little...I think that because of that, I was able to experience a lot...and make it easy for me to adjust to who ever and what ever that is in store for me. The fact that I am learning about this stuff makes me understand my wonderful husband and his play time events. I almost want to get my own compound bow. I think that there is more fun then the gun. However- the bow is something that will have to be later...they are not cheap.

I thank Amber for signing me up! That was the best day in a long time that I had that much fun! I was sooooo tired that I passed out Sat night! I was pretty exhausted Sunday too! The people said that they are doing it again soon at Cabelas. So, I hope to do it again! The other thing that I enjoyed, was being able to spend it with you Amber! HUGS...jes

HURT and PAIN and GRIEF-ugh!

There are many things that I can endure! I have been up and down the block many times! Drug through the dirt and stepped on many times! Everyone that knows me, knows everything about me... and has probably seen me through the worst! However, there are only a few things that I cannot stand for. The first is being called a liar. The second is to be accused of an act that I did not do. In the past few weeks, I have been an emotional basket case. I have been on the planet Pluto. Jessica's personal lala land!


Clarissa- well, I am almost over it! She is 10, growing like a weed...she is becoming a lady, a woman and I am gaining gray hairs and extra baggage under my arms. I remember my mom telling me that I should just wait for my children to get older and then I would know how she felt at every one of my birthdays... Well, mom, I do! Sad to see them get older and not need you as much... and then happy to see them become something and make something of themselves. Clarissa is a handful, but she is exciting and sassy all at the same time. She brings me to my knees and makes me cry...or smile. She is goofy and smart...then she is thickheaded and strong willed... I cannot ask for a better child!

Cody was put down last Friday. This was the last of the dogs that I grew up with. My parents took is so hard that they were not able to be in the same room with him as we lay him down. I held him as he took his last breath. I took the rest of the day off of work and although I was with the family... I just kept to myself. He had cancer and it was only going to get worse. RIP Cody boy!


Well, the last thing...With out going into details, I feel that I lost a friend. Things were thought and thought to be said, and I was never given the benefit of the doubt. I never gave any reason that there was not a truth to this whole thing! Therefore, I was accused of lying and talking about someone behind their back. I am innocent, and there is no way to prove it. Even if there was a way to prove that I did not do the act... there would always be the doubt in their mind. Then resentment would be there and so on... I balled my eyes out... several times... and tried to prove my innocents. I give up. Although Adam states that I did not lose a friend and they did... I still feel that I lost too. I personally do not get it! But, what can I do? I do not think that I have ever been in this situation! Not having any control over something like this... losing a friend and not being able to have my say. I do not think that I have lost any friends like that! People that I have known since the 4th grade... you know who you are!

IDK anymore! I just do not get it! Well, I just know, that I will not back down...I will still be me. Just because they are not willing to put forth any effort, does not mean that I cannot. I will remain me, and be me... and still have to move forward with my life. I will not or cannot let this affect me any longer. It is not fair to me or to my other friends. I think of myself as a happy person...I cannot let this get me down! Well, that is what I am telling myself.

Clarissa is officially 10!

Can you believe it, Clarissa is 10 years old! I happened to wake up to let the dogs out to go potty, and looked at the clock...it was 1:10 am, March 12th- the exact time that my little muffin was born. I vividly remember her kicking in my tummy- reminding me that she was there...I remember the little cry that she made right when she was born...I remember her little hands that held mine and the little red lips, puckered so cute on her sweet face. She lay there so sweet!...Her first word was mama...and she started walking at 9 months old. She has been going every since! She is now in the double digits, 10, the first of many! She is full of spirit and attitude. She is a kid in so many ways, yet still she is beyond her years, too. How did I get so lucky? To have an amazing little girl and she is my little muffin! For her birthday, we went over to a friends house, the Kellers, and she rode Smokey...then we had presents. We got her Taylor Swift tickets (that is in May). She was shocked. On her actual birthday, we took her to Rascal Flatts and she rode Smokey again at the Kellers. On Sunday, we are going to the Gilbert Rodeo and then meeting family at Peter Piper Pizza. She had a week long birthday- how fun, right! I know that she had a lot of fun.