Clarissa- well, I am almost over it! She is 10, growing like a weed...she is becoming a lady, a woman and I am gaining gray hairs and extra baggage under my arms. I remember my mom telling me that I should just wait for my children to get older and then I would know how she felt at every one of my birthdays... Well, mom, I do! Sad to see them get older and not need you as much... and then happy to see them become something and make something of themselves. Clarissa is a handful, but she is exciting and sassy all at the same time. She brings me to my knees and makes me cry...or smile. She is goofy and smart...then she is thickheaded and strong willed... I cannot ask for a better child! 
Cody was put down last Friday. This was the last of the dogs that I grew up with. My parents took is so hard that they were not able to be in the same room with him as we lay him down. I held him as he took his last breath. I took the rest of the day off of work and although I was with the family... I just kept to myself. He had cancer and it was only going to get worse. RIP Cody boy!
Well, the last thing...With out going into details, I feel that I lost a friend. Things were thought and thought to be said, and I was never given the benefit of the doubt. I never gave any reason that there was not a truth to this whole thing! Therefore, I was accused of lying and talking about someone behind their back. I am innocent, and there is no way to prove it. Even if there was a way to prove that I did not do the act... there would always be the doubt in their mind. Then resentment would be there and so on... I balled my eyes out... several times... and tried to prove my innocents. I give up. Although Adam states that I did not lose a friend and they did... I still feel that I lost too. I personally do not get it! But, what can I do? I do not think that I have ever been in this situation! Not having any control over something like this... losing a friend and not being able to have my say. I do not think that I have lost any friends like that! People that I have known since the 4th grade... you know who you are!
IDK anymore! I just do not get it! Well, I just know, that I will not back down...I will still be me. Just because they are not willing to put forth any effort, does not mean that I cannot. I will remain me, and be me... and still have to move forward with my life. I will not or cannot let this affect me any longer. It is not fair to me or to my other friends. I think of myself as a happy person...I cannot let this get me down! Well, that is what I am telling myself.
2 comments:
are you freakin' kidding me! who on earth would ever think that you lied about something? you are the most honest, giving person i've ever known! their loss, whoever they are!! that pisses me off! but like you said, all of us that have been here from the beginning of time, always will be. :)
on a lighter note...RIP cody. i remember when he was a pup, so cute!
and YES, they do grow up. just wait 'til she's 13...ugh!!
Awe- thanks Shel...Well, since then she was real nonchalant about it...we are talking but I keep my guard up. I have to, I am not going to get hurt like that again! I just never would have thought...it was a big mess.
My parents are thinking of getting another dog. My dad says that he is lonely. They have been looking at dog adoption places and the process takes like 2 months...YIKES! but it is a good thing, at least they know that the pup is going somewhere good and not a pup mill or dog fighting home... know!
As for Jordie... what is going on with her... shes becoming the wild and crazy teen? talk to me... warn me of what is to come... because, I think that Clarissa will start early...all the kids here are a little older. YIKES!
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