Why is it that I am nice... why is it that I can forgive and act like nothing is wrong? When I should be a B**** from hell and speak what I want/have to say (I have no problem telling it like it is- to myself)? Why is it that I show concern when I am mad and still smile like nothing is wrong. Gosh, I am SO effin pissed at myself. Why can't I be a B****... I wish that I could turn off the nice switch and just kick some A** of the people that make me mad or upset.
I totally B****ed myself out the other day... because I was so mad- instead of B****ing out the person that needed it! and when I was able to speak my peace- I didn't. (walked away and felt that I should just punch myself out)- Then I felt that I was wrong when I was the one that was wronged. There is no reason for me to be sorry... no reason to even feel this way. This should have not even happened in the first place.
So, why am I placing so much of my effort into this... I shouldn't! As much as I try to be the B****, I just can't. People tell me, I will teach you- I just laugh- I just can't... I don't want to be known as a B****. No reason to stoop to others level. I don't want to be on that level- that is just not me.
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